If the lost word is lost, if the spent word is spent
If the unheard, unspoken
Word is unspoken, unheard;
Still is the unspoken word, the Word unheard,
The Word without a word, the Word within
The world and for the world;
And the light shone in darkness and
Against the Word the unstilled world still whirled
About the centre of the silent Word (T.S Eliot “Ash Wednesday”)

As I mention in my description, I’m working out my salvation in fear and trembling. Over the last year, with the help of my incredible spiritual director, I have been learning how to live in gratitude and surrender, even as things whirl about me. I am learning to deal with anxiety as a habitual need to control the events around me, rather than trusting God’s Providence in the situation. I’m not talking about suppressing my feelings, or pretending that anxiety is not painful. Rather, my director is teaching me to suffer it well, as an offering of prayer, and not letting it control my decisions or my actions. Much of anxiety, at least for me, is lies I tell myself…about worthlessness, guilt, and regret. Those lies get in the way of trusting God.

So for Lent this year, I’m obeying my director and building some spiritual strength by replacing these bad habits with good ones. Like Eliot in his poem, I want to step out of the mental whirlwind into the Word on His Cross and make Him my still center. The world and its instability can move on, but my still point is always there to grasp. One of my practices is going to be this blog, another is studying my faith, and another is prayer without ceasing. What are you doing for Lent?

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